Gov. Mark

Does anyone else get the feeling that politicians just don’t care anymore? Gov. Mark Sanford returned to work after missing for five days. After returning, the Gov. admitted to an affair, but said he was not going to resign.

I’m not sure of Mark’s exact words, but I think he said something like, ‘... I’m a straight shooter: I had an affair...’

Hey Mark: Could you be a little bit less of a straight shooter?
No one wants to hear about your affair. The only time a person wants to hear about an affair is if it’s an imaginary affair. An affair that takes place in the movies. The only time anyone wants to hear about an affair is if it is an affair between say, a young first-term senator played by Josh Harnett and fiesty, independent environmentalist lawyer played by Sacrlett Johannsenn. That is the only time any person wants to hear about an affair.

As for real-life 50-ish Gov that have affairs: Don’t even mention it. I mean, it’s your decision to do something like that if you want too... but don’t mention it to me, any where near me, or in any media outlet where I might see or hear about the affair. Your affair is not a mental picture I want in my head.

And instead of apologizing for the affair, how about about apologizing for the 5 days of work you missed?

Because here is the thing about affairs and missing work: I think the average person understands when a Gov. or President has an affair. I’m not saying the average person likes it, or thinks its a good idea.

I’m just saying, it’s understandable. Maybe the Gov’s marriage was going through a rough patch, one night perhaps he and the ‘other woman’ had a little too much vino and - boom! - things happen.

I think the average person sees affairs as something like getting really, really drunk at a party, or showing up for work really loaded. It’s nothing to be proud of, but it happens. Not admirable, but understandable.

But missing work? That’s not understandable. It’s not understandable to the average person, because the average person can’t miss work. We can understand sleeping with someone you shouldn’t, because things happen. We understand showing up for work DRUNK, because that happens. We don’t understand show up for work, NOT THERE.

Because when the average person doesn’t show up for work, he or she had better be in a coma. Rolling into work after a week with a ‘opps! Sorry!’ on your lips doesn’t cut it.

But dispite this affair, I would vote to the Gov if he ran for higher office.

Why?

Because of his wife. The Gov’s wife wasn’t like other policitians wives that had been cheated on.

Lately, many wives seem to standing next to their man, the Gov. that had been cheating on them, and the wives are saying stuff like, ‘they are working to repair the marriage’ or ‘they hope everyone respects the difficult time’.

Not Mrs. Sanford.

When Mrs. Sanford was asked where Mr. Sanford was, her answer was, ‘I don’t know, and I don’t care’.

Whenever a wife says she doesn’t know or care where her husband is, the wife KNOWS.

Mrs. Sanford wasn’t saying, ‘Could you please leave is alone in this difficult time?’. Mrs. Sanford was saying, ‘Bother me all you want. Bother my husband all you want. I’m not sure where he is, but you may want to check Latin America.’

I like that in a lady. And that lady is one of the reasons why I would vote for her husband for higher office, if he ran.

Suppose Mark gets voted into office. And Mark is in the White House, doing his thing, and after work Mark goes home.

At home, Mark starts talking about his day. Mrs. Sanford is listening to his stories. Mark is going on and on, complaining about how hard he has to work, and how bad Congress is being, and Mark is saying stuff like, ‘This North Korea... I don’t know what I am going to do it... It’s a bad situation’.

At some point Mrs. Sanford is going to turn around and say, ‘North Korea? Let me ask you this: did you ask your whore about it? And what does your whore say about North Korea?’

I get the feeling Mark Sanford would have the North Korea situation fixed up toot-sweet, just so that is it never brought up in conversation again.